10 Things to Do After a Divorce – A Post-Divorce Checklist

The aftermath of a divorce can be a challenging and emotional time. Here are a few things to consider as you move forward:

1. Take Care of Yourself

Take time to process your emotions and care for your physical and mental health. It’s important to give yourself the time and space to heal.

Giving yourself time and space to heal after a divorce is essential. Here are a few things you can do to take care of yourself:

Take care of your physical health: This includes ensuring you get enough sleep, eat well, and exercise regularly. These habits can help you feel better physically and emotionally.
Practice self-care: This can include activities like meditation, going for a walk, taking a warm bath, or getting a massage. Do things that make you feel good and help you relax.
Seek support: Surround yourself with supportive family and friends, or consider joining a support group for people going through a divorce. It can be helpful to talk to others who are going through similar experiences.
Seek therapy: Therapy can be helpful. Therapy can help you process your emotions and learn coping strategies to move forward. A mental health professional can provide a safe space to process your feelings and help you develop healthy ways of dealing with them.
Set boundaries: After a divorce, it’s important to set boundaries with your ex-partner and other people. Appropriate boundaries can help you feel more in control while also safeguarding your emotional well-being.
Take time for yourself: It’s okay to take time for yourself and do things that bring you joy. This can help you feel more balanced and grounded.

2. Review and Update Your Finances

Here are a few steps to review your finances after a divorce:

Gather all relevant financial documents: These include bank statements, credit card statements, pay stubs, and tax returns. You’ll need a complete understanding of your financial situation to make informed decisions.
Make sure all joint accounts are closed and open up new banking accounts in your name alone.
Make a list of your assets and debts: Make a list of all the assets you owned during the marriage, including property, investments, and retirement accounts. Make a separate list of debts, such as mortgages, car loans, and credit card balances.
Create a new budget: Once you clearly understand your financial situation, you’ll need to create a new budget that reflects your new circumstances. This may involve adjusting your spending habits and finding ways to save money.
Consider seeking legal or financial advice: If you have complex financial assets or are having difficulty agreeing with your ex-partner, you may want to seek legal or financial advice to help you navigate this process.

3. Step up Automatic Payments for any Child Support or Alimony Payments

Setting up automatic payments for child support and alimony can be a convenient way to ensure these payments are made on time. Here are a few things to consider when deciding whether to set up automatic payments:

Ease of use: Automatic payments can be convenient because they take care of the payment process for you. You won’t forget to write and mail a check or log in to your bank account to make a payment.
Reliability: Automatic payments can be more reliable than manual payments because they’re less likely to be forgotten or delayed. This can be especially important if you have a court order to make these payments.
Fees: Some banks and financial institutions charge fees for automatic payments. Check with your bank or financial institution to see if any fees are involved.
Security: Automatic payments can be more secure than manual payments because they’re less likely to be lost or stolen in the mail. However, you’ll still need to protect your bank account and personal information to prevent unauthorized access.
Flexibility: Automatic payments may not be as flexible as manual payments. For example, if you need to make a one-time payment or adjust the amount of a payment, you may have to cancel the automatic payment and set up a new one.

Ultimately, whether or not to set up automatic payments for child support and alimony is a personal decision that depends on your circumstances. It may be helpful to weigh the pros and cons before deciding.

Name writing with black letters on wooden dices with an old book around. High quality photo

4. Update Your New Name

You’ll need to notify several organizations and agencies if you changed your name during the divorce. Here are a few places where you’ll need to update your name:

Social Security Administration: You’ll need to update your name with the Social Security Administration so that your name is reflected on your Social Security card and in the agency’s records.
Department of Motor Vehicles: You’ll need to update your name with the Department of Motor Vehicles so that your driver’s license or identification card reflects your new name.
Passport Office: If you have a passport, you’ll need to update your name with the passport office. You’ll need to submit a new passport application and provide proof of your name change, such as a marriage certificate or court order.
Employer: You’ll need to inform your employer of your name change so that your payroll records and tax documents reflect your new name.
Banks and financial institutions: You’ll need to update your name with any banks or financial institutions where you have accounts. This includes checking and savings accounts, credit cards, and investment accounts.
Insurance companies: You’ll need to update your name with any insurance companies where you have policies, including health insurance, life insurance, and auto insurance.

Make a list of all the places you’ll need to update your name and start the process as soon as possible. It may take some time to update all of your accounts and documents, so it’s important to be patient and thorough.

5. Update Your Credit Cards

It’s generally a good idea to review your credit cards after a divorce and make any necessary changes. Here are a few things to consider:

Joint accounts: If you have any joint credit card accounts with your ex-partner, you’ll need to determine what to do with these accounts. You can close the accounts, transfer the balance to a separate account, or have one person assume responsibility for the account.
Individual accounts: If you have any individual credit card accounts, you’ll want to review these accounts to make sure they reflect your new circumstances. This may involve updating your name on the account if you’ve changed it or adjusting your credit limit or rewards program.
Credit score: Divorce can impact your credit score, especially if you had joint accounts with your ex-partner. It’s a good idea to check your credit report and monitor your credit score to ensure it’s accurate and to identify any areas that need improvement.

Updating your credit cards after a divorce is important to ensure that your accounts reflect your new situation and to protect your credit score. Working with a financial professional or credit counselor to review your credit cards and make any necessary changes is a good idea.

6. Update Your Legal Documents

It’s important to update your legal documents after a divorce. Here are a few reasons why:

Will: If you have a will, your ex-partner is likely named as a beneficiary or person who would make medical or financial decisions on your behalf in the event of your incapacitation. After a divorce, you’ll want to update your will to reflect your new circumstances.
Power of attorney: If you have a power of attorney, your ex-partner is likely named as the person who would make decisions on your behalf if you cannot do so. After a divorce, you’ll want to update your power of attorney to reflect your new situation.
Healthcare directive: If you have a healthcare directive, your ex-partner is likely named as the person who would make medical decisions on your behalf if you cannot do so. After a divorce, you’ll want to update your healthcare directive to reflect your new situation.
Beneficiaries: Many legal documents, such as life insurance policies and retirement accounts, allow you to name beneficiaries who would receive the proceeds of the policy or account in the event of your death. After a divorce, you’ll want to update the beneficiaries on these documents to reflect your new circumstances.

Updating your legal documents after a divorce is critical to ensure that your wishes are carried out and that your assets are distributed according to your wishes. Working with an attorney to review and update your legal documents is a good idea.

7. Change Your Passwords!

It’s generally a good idea to change your passwords after a divorce, especially if you shared them with your ex-partner during the marriage. Here are a few reasons why:

To protect your privacy: Changing your passwords can help protect your personal information and prevent your ex-partner from accessing your accounts.
To prevent unauthorized access: If your ex-partner knows your passwords, they may be able to log in to your accounts and make changes or access sensitive information. Changing your passwords can help prevent this.
To reduce the risk of identity theft: If your ex-partner has access to your personal information and passwords, they may be able to use this information to commit identity theft. Changing your passwords can help reduce this risk.

It’s a good idea to change the passwords on all your accounts, including email, social media, banking, and any other accounts containing personal information. It’s also a good idea to use strong, unique passwords for each account and enable two-factor authentication if available.

8. Submit Your Qualified Domestic Relation Order (QDRO) to the Plan Administrator

A QDRO, or Qualified Domestic Relations Order, is a legal document that outlines how a retirement account should be divided in the event of a divorce. If you have a QDRO, it’s essential to submit it to the plan administrator for the retirement account in question.

Here are a few reasons why:

To divide the retirement account: The QDRO instructs the plan administrator how to divide the retirement account between you and your ex-partner. Without the QDRO, the administrator may not know how to divide the account.
To avoid taxes and penalties: If the retirement account is divided without a QDRO, it may be treated as a taxable distribution, which could result in taxes and penalties. A QDRO can help avoid these consequences by specifying that the distribution is due to a divorce.
To protect your rights: A QDRO can help protect your rights to a portion of the retirement account. Without a QDRO, your ex-partner may be able to access or dispose of the account without your knowledge or consent.

It’s important to submit your QDRO to the plan administrator as soon as possible after your divorce. This will help ensure that the retirement account is divided according to the terms of the QDRO and that your rights are protected.

9. Update Your Insurance

Reviewing and updating your insurance coverage after a divorce is a good idea. Here are a few reasons why:

Health insurance: If you were on your ex-partner’s health insurance plan, you’ll need to find a new plan. This may involve enrolling in a new employer’s plan, purchasing a plan through the marketplace, or enrolling in a government-funded plan like Medicaid or Medicare.
Life insurance: If you have a life insurance policy that names your ex-partner as the beneficiary, you’ll want to update the beneficiary to reflect your new circumstances. You can also review the amount of coverage you have and make any necessary changes.
Auto insurance: If you were on your ex-partner’s auto insurance policy, you’ll need to find a new policy or add yourself to an existing policy. You may also need to update the vehicle listed on the policy if you’ve taken ownership of a car.
Homeowners or renters insurance: If you own a home, you’ll want to review your homeowner’s insurance policy to ensure it reflects your new circumstances. Consider purchasing renters insurance to protect your personal belongings if you’re renting.

Updating your insurance after a divorce is vital to ensure you have the coverage you need to protect yourself and your assets. It’s a good idea to review your insurance policies with an insurance agent or broker to ensure you have the right coverage.

10. Consider Therapy

Whether or not to seek therapy after a divorce is a personal decision that depends on your circumstances. However, therapy can be a helpful resource for many people going through a divorce.

Here are a few reasons why therapy might be helpful after a divorce:

To work through your emotions: A divorce can be a difficult and emotional experience. Therapy can provide a safe space to process your feelings and work through any grief, anger, or other emotions you may be experiencing.
To develop coping strategies: Therapy can help you learn healthy ways of coping with the challenges of divorce and moving forward.
To improve communication: Therapy can help you improve your communication skills and learn how to communicate effectively with your ex-partner, especially if you have children together.
To build a support network: A therapist can be a supportive presence in your life as you navigate the challenges of divorce.

If you’re considering therapy after a divorce, it can be helpful to speak with a mental health professional to determine whether it’s the right option. They can help you identify your goals for therapy and develop a plan to achieve them.