Clients frequently ask me about ways to minimize the cost of their divorce. I advise them that there are two things they can do to keep down the cost of the divorce: 1) Settle with their spouse so the divorce is uncontested, and 2) have all of their paperwork organized and ready to be filed with the court.
Below is a detailed list of all the things you must do to be organized for a divorce. The list may make you feel like it will be impossible to get all the information you need for a divorce. But, go slow. Be persistent and you will be able to do it. Recognize that nothing will happen all at once, and take one step at a time.
It is normal to feel overwhelmed while compiling the information. Take breaks and do a little bit at a time. You can always return to this list to ensure you get all the necessary information.
Marriage Checklist
Use the following areas as your checklist. You can always refer back to the specifics of each step as needed.
1. Determine if your Divorce is Uncontested
Consider whether you and your spouse can work together to settle your divorce-related issues. To get an uncontested divorce, you and your spouse must agree on child custody and child support, the division of property and debts, and alimony, which is also called “spousal support” or “spousal maintenance” in some states.
You can file for divorce without a lawyer if you and your spouse agree on all the issues involved. Numerous do-it-yourself divorce services online will assist you in drafting a marital settlement agreement and preparing the documents necessary to be filed in your state.
For example, in Missouri, where I practice, a divorcing couple must file the following documents:
- A Petition for Dissolution of Marriage
- A Statement of Income and Expenses for the Couple
- A Statement of Property and Debt
- The Proposed Separation Agreement
- Missouri Department of Health Certificate of Dissolution of Marriage
- Family Court Filing Certificate
- Judgment of Dissolution
- An Agreed-to Parenting Plan
- An Answer to the Petition of Dissolution
Every state will have different requirements, but most will be similar to Missouri. If you want to file the divorce yourself, you can use an online service to help you prepare the documents, or if the divorce is truly uncontested, an attorney will likely prepare the necessary paperwork for you and file the forms for a reasonable attorney fee. Usually, this will be for a flat fee.
A private mediator can help you settle your divorce if you can’t agree on all the details but are close to a settlement. Mediators can frequently assist couples in reaching an agreement without having to go to court.
You may need to go to court if you and your spouse are not even close to agreeing on all of the issues.
2. Determine if You Should Hire a Lawyer
No state requires a couple to hire a divorce attorney to obtain a divorce. I always counsel people to be wise and that it is worth their time before they start the divorce or come to a final settlement agreement to talk to an attorney to make sure they understand their legal rights.
You should understand that hiring a lawyer will definitely increase the cost of the divorce, but the attorney may help eliminate the stress of the divorce and, at the same time, ensure you are receiving a fair settlement.
If you decide to hire a lawyer, you must select one independently because you should not use your spouse’s lawyer during your divorce. Divorce lawyers can’t represent both sides of a divorce case because that would be a conflict of interest.
3. You Will Need a Parenting Plan If You and Your Spouse Have Children.
Child custody and visitation are usually the biggest issues for divorcing parents. The couples will need to agree on custody and visitation. If a couple cannot agree on matters concerning the children, they will not be able to have an uncontested divorce. Divorcing parents have lots of things to think about, but child custody and visitation are the most important.
I recommend starting a parenting plan. Find out how custody is typically handled in your jurisdiction, and then start making a proposed custody schedule that says who will have primary custody of the kids and who will get to see them during visitation. Begin to write out a draft of the children’s visitation schedules, summer vacations, school holidays, summer vacations, Mother’s day, Father’s day, birthdays, and other dates that are important to you.
Create a calendar to record the time the children spend at each household. Include any problems with transportation, drop-off locations, transportation, waiting times, missed visits, and any costs you’ve had to pay for visitation.
You will need to calculate the correct child support amount. Each state has different laws on this. For example, in Missouri, FORM 14 is used to establish the presumed child support amount.
Look up your state’s requirements. Determine if you’ll receive child support or be required to pay child support following your divorce. When you submit your divorce petition, you can ask the court for a temporary child support order if you require child support while the divorce is in progress.
4. Gather Marriage-Related Information
Gather and organize all of your marriage-related information. Prepare a list of information in a Word or Google document. The following is a list of personal information you will need for your divorce:
- The Date and location of your marriage and your current county of residence.
- List the name, birthdate, age, and social security number of everyone in your family. Include each person’s contact information, such as phone number, address, and email address. List where the children reside.
- Information about any child support obligations. If either spouse pays child support from a past relationship, indicate who pays and at what rate.
- Employment Information. List each family member’s employer. Include the name, contact information, and address. List how long the person has worked for that employer and their hourly, monthly, or yearly salary.
- Details on prior marriages. Include the date of any prior divorce judgment. Include information regarding children from previous marriages on either side, including full names, birthdates, and social security numbers.
- List which person provides and pays for health insurance for the family. Health insurance can be a huge household expense. List who your health insurance is with, the policy number, deductibles, and the monthly costs for the insurance for each member of the household.
- A list of the issues that resulted in the breakdown of the marriage. Including money issues, gambling addictions, sexual issues, infidelity, domestic violence, alcohol or drug abuse, or religious disagreements.
5. Gather Marriage-Related Paperwork
Gather documentation of your marriage and estate planning. Prepare a list of information on a Word or Google document, and then start a paper file that contains all of the essential documents organized in subfolders. Label this your “Divorce Folder.” The following is a list of documents you need to obtain:
Marriage certificate
Find your marriage certificate and place it in a subfolder in your Divorce Folder. A copy of your marriage certificate can be ordered from the county where your marriage was performed.
Life insurance Policies.
Obtain copies of each spouse’s life insurance policies and place them in a subfolder in your Divorce Folder.
Estate Planning Documents.
Obtain copies of all estate planning paperwork, including prenuptial and postnuptial agreements. Obtain copies of your wills, living wills, trusts, powers of attorney, and advance healthcare directives. Place them in a separate file in your Divorce Folder.
A copy of all children’s birth certificates.
Get a copy of each child’s birth certificate from your local Bureau of Vital Statics.
6. Gather a List of All Marital Assets
Create a List of All Marital Assets that have a Title.
Make a list of your marital assets, such as your cars, boats, trailers, planes, ATVs, and RVs. Find the original titles for each. You will need these to get the assets retitled after the divorce. Also, locate and attach a copy of the loan statements detailing the loan’s terms, including the current debt obligation for each asset. Get on the internet and look up the value of each asset. For example, include a copy of the private party Kelly Blue Book valuation for all vehicles.
Create an Inventory of Household Assets.
Compile an inventory list for your entire home with projected resale values. Go room to room. List all furniture and appliances. This can be laborious, but you need to identify every piece of furniture and accessory in your home. Prepare an estimated value for these items.
Create a List of Expensive Items.
Create a separate list for any gold, precious metals, jewelry, art, and other collectible items that have significant value. Records of ownership, receipts from the purchases or descriptions of jewelry, rugs, artwork, antiques, collectibles, sports memorabilia, coin collections, fine wines, and other valuables. Additionally, offer insurance appraisals for any items listed separately on the insurance policy.
7. Gather a List of All Nonmarital Property
Nonmarital property includes anything you owned before getting married, as well as gifts and inheritances received while married. This type of property receives special treatment during the divorce. It is usually given to the spouse as their own separate property and is not divided during the divorce. It is critical to distinguish this property. The following is a list of nonmarital properties.
A list of the assets each spouse owned before marriage.
This may be classified as nonmarital property and may not be divided during the divorce.
Inheritance.
Describe your inheritance, including who it came from, when it occurred, how much you received, and where it is now. The inheritance may be classified as nonmarital property and may not be divided during the divorce.
A list of the assets each spouse personally received as gifts during the marriage.
This may be classified as nonmarital property and may not be divided during the divorce.
Itemize your possessions.
Note the things that are uniquely yours, such as gifts or family heirlooms. If necessary, keep these things safe with a relative, but ensure to include them in the financial disclosures.
8. Gather Critical Financial Documents
Identify all the necessary financial documentation.
Income Tax and Tax Documents.
Get copies of the last five years of state and federal tax returns, with all schedules, attachments, W-2 forms, and any “K-1” forms from business companies. You can order a copy of the tax returns from the IRS if you cannot locate your tax returns. Place the tax returns in your divorce folder.
A copy of your and your spouse’s most recent social security statement.
This can typically be obtained online at the Social Security Administration website. Place this information into the divorce folder.
Salary and Pay Information.
Make copies of any W-2s or other pay stub information you can access for you and your spouse. Get the most current year-end statements for you and your spouse. List your year-to-date earnings if they are not displayed on your paystubs. If your salary includes bonuses, stock options, equity or stock incentives, ESPPs, or other non-salary income, include that information as well. Place this information into the divorce folder.
Retirement Accounts.
Make copies of accounts for retirement and pensions, including defined benefits, 401k, and defined contribution plans. Obtain a copy of the most recent benefit statements, plan summary, and statement as close as feasible to the separation date. Include your estimated monthly income from your pension computation at the earliest retirement age. Place this information into the divorce folder.
Safety Deposit Boxes.
List all items in your safety deposit boxes. Note the value of all contents, who owns them, and where the safety deposit box is located.
Tax returns for corporations and partnerships.
Obtain the records of the organizations you have had a financial interest in during the past five years. You can get copies from the accountant if they have the documentation for your individual and business tax returns. Place this information into the divorce folder.
Financial Reports.
Obtain the most recent financial statements that have been generated. There should be one if you have recently applied for a loan. Place this information into the divorce folder.
Bank accounts, insurance contracts, investment accounts, retirement accounts, and other financial data.
Obtain current statements for all bank accounts. This should include all money market, savings, checking, credit, and other deposit accounts and all internet savings and investment accounts. You should also document if you or your spouse have a considerable amount of cash stored somewhere safe. Place this information into the divorce folder.
Disability and life insurance policies.
Obtain copies of all declaratory pages with the face amount, date, insured, type of insurance policy, owner, beneficiary or beneficiaries, and cash or loan value for each insurance policy. A term life insurance policy has no cash value. Whole life insurance policies will have a current cash value. Place this information into the divorce folder.
Tax Refunds.
Please include details about any tax refunds you anticipate receiving. If either party got a check or record of a reimbursement separately before or after the separation, have copies of those documents. Give a copy of your tax extension form if you anticipate receiving a refund but still need to file your taxes. Place this information into the divorce folder.
Stocks and Bonds, Certificates of Deposits, Investment Accounts, Secured Notes, and other liquid, Crypto-currency, and non-liquid investment accounts.
Obtain copies of all legal documents demonstrating how the title is held and the most recent statements and a copy of statements as close to the date of separation as feasible. Place this information into the divorce folder.
Receivables Notes and Unsecured Notes.
Keep track of any debts owed to you or your spouse, and include prizes from the lottery. Place this information into the divorce folder.
Cafeteria Plans and Additional Benefits.
Obtain the most recent statement or explanation of either spouse’s work benefits, including any incentive or bonus plans and cafeteria benefit plans. Place this information into the divorce folder.
Partnerships and Additional Commercial Interests.
Obtain a copy of the most recent K-1 form and Schedule C from the company. General partnerships, limited partnerships, limited liability partnerships (LLPs), C corporations, limited liability corporations (LLCs), and sole proprietorships should all be identified as business interests. Place this information into the divorce folder.
Records about intellectual property rights.
This would include patents, trademarks, copyrights, licensing agreements, and royalties. Place this information into the divorce folder.
Early Retirement and Severance Pay.
List any statements or notices about early retirement or severance benefits provided or received from either spouse’s employer. This should be considered part of the marital estate. Place this information into the divorce folder.
9. Financial Information Needed if a Spouse Owns a Business
Business Financial Information.
Obtain copies of the company’s balance sheet and profit and loss statements for the last five (5) years. Place this information into the divorce folder.
Corporate Documents.
Obtain a copy of the company’s buy-sell agreements or other company valuation agreements. Place this information into the divorce folder.
Business Loans.
Obtain copies of any business loan statement or credit application created within the previous five (5) years. Place this information into the divorce folder.
Appraisals.
Obtain copies of any current valuation of the company. There should be one if the business has applied for a loan within the last five (5) years. Place this information into the divorce folder.
Accounts Receivable.
Obtain copies of the company’s accounts receivable for the current year. Place this information into the divorce folder.
Corporate Tax Returns.
Obtain copies of the company’s tax returns for the last five (5) years. Place this information into the divorce folder.
10. Gather All Debt Information
Identify all of your debts. Get copies of all supporting documentation for any joint debts you may have.
Real Estate Loans.
Obtain a copy of your mortgage and determine who is on the note and the current balance of the loan. Place this information into the divorce folder.
Credit cards.
Get copies of all credit card debts. Include the cardholder’s name, card number, and outstanding balance. You can likely find this information on your credit report. Get copies of the last six (6) months’ statements. You should also document the credit card’s total number of reward points, cash rebates, and/or frequent flyer miles. Place this information into the divorce folder.
Personal Loans.
This would include car loans, retirement plan loans, school loans, credit card debt, and debt from medical treatment. Obtain copies of the current payoff amounts for each loan. Place this information into the divorce folder.
Taxes.
Make sure you account for any taxes you may owe. Additionally, if you paid estimated taxes for the current or previous tax year but still need to complete your return, please figure out how much was spent in taxes and if additional taxes will be owed. Place this information into the divorce folder.
Child and Alimony Support Arrears.
This term refers to the support that you or your spouse were ordered to pay in this separation case before this divorce. This could be support owed to former spouses, for children from previous relationships, or support owed from a former spouse. Place this information into the divorce folder.
11. Gather Real Estate Documents
Your home is most likely your most valuable asset. You will want to gather as much about this asset as possible. Gather the following documents:
Marital Home.
Obtain a copy of the house’s deed for each property, showing the ownership of the title. If the names on the title were ever changed during the marriage, obtain copies of all deeds from the time of acquisition. Place this information into the divorce folder.
Tax Return.
Obtain a copy of your federal tax return for the year you sold your home and transferred any gain into a new principal residence. Place this information into the divorce folder.
Appraisals.
If your property has been appraised within the last three (3) years, obtain copies of the appraisal. Place this information into the divorce folder.
Closing Statements.
Obtain a copy of any closing or escrow statement from the real estate purchase. This should reflect the purchase price, down payment, closing costs, etc. Place this information into the divorce folder.
Mortgages and Lines of Credit.
Obtain a copy of the most recent mortgage or loan statement with the account number, name, address, monthly payment, and balance required for each loan. Additionally, list the current loan terms, including the date it was opened, the principal amount, the interest rate, and the period. Place this information into the divorce folder.
Vacation Properties.
Obtain a copy of all closing documents, deeds, and mortgages for any vacation (including timeshares) properties owned. Place this information into the divorce folder.
Rental property ownership records for all properties.
Obtain a copy of all closing documents, deeds, and mortgages for any rental properties owned. Place this information into the divorce folder.
12. Compile Other Crucial Documents
Include these other crucial documents in your divorce folder:
Login information.
Record the login details for your joint accounts so you can access them later. If you don’t currently have access to the funds, make sure to acquire access to your joint accounts before telling your spouse you want a divorce because it’s not unusual for one spouse to have authority over the family’s assets. Place this information into the divorce folder.
Credit History Report.
Obtain a copy of your credit history to get a complete picture of your finances before the divorce. Place this information into the divorce folder.
13. Prepare for a New Budget
This is a critical step to starting a new life. You will soon be living a life with less income and more expenses. Make sure you prepare a budget. There are several online resources to help with this.
Prepare an expense statement.
List all the costs related to your life. List mortgage, insurance, taxes, car payments, credit card payments, school tuition, entertainment, unreimbursed medical bills, music or dance lessons for children, etc. An excellent place to gather this information is to go through a few months of recent bank statements and begin to itemize all the expenses.
Calculate income.
Begin to prepare an outline for your monthly income. This would include money earned through wages, investments, alimony, and child support.
14. Take Steps to Start a New Life
There are many things to accomplish when starting your own life. These are a few that are crucial.
Establish a bank account.
Visit your bank and open a new account in your name only. Check your state’s regulations once more to determine whether you need to wait until you are formally divorced to create a bank account in your name alone. Obtaining your own checking account will allow you to manage and use your money as you see fit once the judge has finalized the divorce.
You must wait until the court or your attorney instructs you to transfer your direct deposit to your new account. Many states consider both spouses’ income to be joint property, so withdrawing money from a joint account now could affect your divorce later.
Safeguard your credit.
Consider getting a new credit card in your name alone. Check your state’s rules beforehand, as a court might view an account you open while you’re still married as a community or joint account. However, opening a new account in your name will help you keep your credit once divorced.
Keep your data secure.
Get a new email address, and update all previous passwords. If you believe your spouse might acquire access to this information to use against you during the divorce, change any and all passwords to all of your social media.
Establish a P.O. Box.
Get a P.O. Box in your name alone if you have a lawyer or anticipate receiving mail relating to your divorce or the separation process so you may receive critical documents without your spouse reading them.
Update your insurance records.
Most states, if not all, forbid divorcing partners from making changes to their insurance and estate planning arrangements before the judge has issued the final judgment. You should update your documentation as quickly as possible after the divorce is final.
Obtain health insurance.
If you currently have your health insurance through your spouse’s work, you should start looking into other ways to obtain health insurance. If you don’t have a job, you can begin your search for health insurance on the Affordable Care Act website or by contacting your local health and human services office to see if you qualify for state help.
15. Select Your New Living Situation
Many divorcing spouses opt to stay in the same house throughout the divorce because they cannot afford to pay two mortgages or twice the rent. If you can’t live together, you will have to decide who will stay in the marital home while the divorce is going through court.
Here are some things to think about. If you and your spouse cannot agree, you may need to ask the court to grant you sole possession of the house while the judge decides how to divide the property.
If there are children in the house, the primary caretaker will often stay there to keep the kids stable. If you think your spouse will stay in the house during the divorce, you should start looking for another place to live as soon as possible. But you should talk to your lawyer before leaving the marital residence to make sure you don’t give up your right to the property.
Conclusion
It may seem overwhelming to think of accomplishing all of this work. Start slowly, and don’t be afraid to ask for help. Recognize that nothing will happen all at once, and take one step at a time.
Use this checklist no matter how you decide to handle your divorce, whether you do it on your own, get help from the internet, or work with experts like mediators or lawyers.