You see everything as an attorney who has practiced for over 25 years. Here are some of the dirtiest tricks I’ve seen people try to pull during a divorce.
If you are going through a divorce, it is important to know that the proceedings should be handled respectfully and in accordance with the law.
If you think your spouse is lying or attempting to use dirty tricks to get what they want, you should talk to an experienced family law attorney. They can tell you your legal options and help you get through the process fairly and honestly.
Sneaky Divorce Tactic #1 – Lying About Finances
People may lie about their finances during a divorce for various reasons. Some may do it to gain an advantage in property division or avoid paying alimony or child support.
Others may do it for fear of losing assets they believe are rightfully theirs. Some people may also do it to protect their privacy or to avoid the emotional or psychological stress of discussing sensitive financial information.
Additionally, some may have financial troubles or have accumulated debts or liabilities that they wish to hide.
It’s important to remember that lying about finances during a divorce is unethical and can have serious legal consequences. The court takes financial disclosures seriously, and if you are found to have lied, you could face penalties such as fines, penalties, or even jail time.
It’s better to be transparent and honest with your spouse, attorney, and the court about your financial situation.
Sneaky Divorce Tactic #2 – Requesting Child Custody for the Wrong Reasons
There are many reasons a parent might want to get custody of their child, but some are completely wrong. Some examples include:
- Using the children as a bargaining chip: Attempting to use the children to gain an advantage in other areas of the divorce, such as property division or alimony.
- Using the children to hurt the other parent: Requesting custody to punish or hurt the other parent rather than for the benefit of the children.
- Using the children to gain leverage in immigration proceedings: Using child custody as a way to gain leverage in immigration proceedings or to gain citizenship status.
- Using the children to control the other parent: Requesting custody to gain control over the other parent rather than providing a stable and loving home for the children.
- Using the children to gain public sympathy: Requesting custody to gain public sympathy or for personal gain.
- Requesting custody or additional visitation time solely to reduce child support payments: It would be considered inappropriate or wrong to ask for custody or additional visitation time solely to reduce child support payments. The purpose of child support is to help cover the expenses of raising a child, such as food, clothing, and housing, and to ensure that the child has a reasonable standard of living. Child support payments should not be used to punish or reward either parent and should be based on the child’s needs and financial ability to pay.
It is important to remember that child support and child custody are separate matters and should be handled as such. Visitation schedules should be based on the child’s best interests, including their physical and emotional needs, safety, and overall well-being.
Requesting custody or additional visitation time to reduce child support payments could be seen by the court as an attempt to manipulate the system and may have negative legal consequences.
Parents should be reminded that the child’s best interests should come first in any child custody case. Decisions should be based on the child’s best interests, including their physical and emotional needs, safety, and overall well-being.
Sneaky Divorce Tactic # 3 – Making False Allegations of Abuse or Neglect
Of all the things I’ve seen as an attorney, false allegations of abuse or neglect are the worst.
There can be several reasons a spouse may make false allegations of abuse or neglect during a divorce. Some may do it to gain an advantage in child custody proceedings or to gain the upper hand in other areas of the divorce, such as property division or alimony. Others may do it out of spite or to punish the other spouse.
I’ve seen false claims of domestic violence used to get an emergency order of protection just so the other spouse would have to leave the family home.
Sometimes, a spouse may make false allegations of abuse or neglect as a form of emotional manipulation or control. This can be used to gain sympathy or isolate the other spouse and make them appear unreliable or unstable in the eyes of the court.
Additionally, some people may make false allegations to hide the abuse they are committing or to manipulate the court to gain custody.
It’s important to remember that making false allegations of abuse or neglect are unethical and can have serious legal consequences. The court takes allegations of abuse or neglect very seriously. Any false allegations can lead to serious legal repercussions and can have a long-lasting impact on everyone involved, including the children.
If you are a victim of false allegations, working with a qualified attorney to help you defend yourself and protect your rights is crucial.
Sneaky Divorce Tactic # 4 – Hiding Assets
There are several common ways a spouse may hide assets during a divorce:
- Underreporting income: A spouse may underreport their income to make it appear that they have less money than they do. This can be done by failing to report bonuses, tips, or other forms of income.
- Overstating debts: A spouse may overstate their debts to make it appear that they have fewer assets than they do.
- Transferring assets: A spouse may transfer assets to a friend or family member or a business they control to make them harder to trace or appear that they no longer own them.
- Concealing assets: A spouse may conceal them by failing to disclose them or hiding them in safe deposit boxes, storage units, or other locations where they are challenging to find.
- Misrepresenting the value of assets: A spouse may misrepresent the value of assets to make them appear to be worth less than they actually are.
It’s important to remember that hiding assets during a divorce is illegal and can have serious legal consequences. The court takes financial disclosures seriously, and if you are found to have hidden assets, you could face penalties such as fines, penalties, or even jail time.
Sneaky Divorce Tactic # 5 – Parental Alienation
Parental alienation refers to when one parent actively undermines the child’s relationship with the other parent through various behaviors such as bad-mouthing, limiting contact, or manipulation. There can be several reasons why a parent may engage in parental alienation during a divorce:
- Control: Some parents may use alienation to control the other parent or punish them for their perceived wrongs.
- Jealousy: A parent may be jealous of the child’s relationship with the other parent and attempt to undermine it.
- Resentment: A parent may hold resentment towards the other parent and may use alienation as a way to hurt them.
- Fear of losing the child: In some cases, a parent may use alienation to maintain control over the child or gain an advantage in child custody proceedings.
- Lack of understanding of the impact: Some parents may not be aware of how their actions impact the child and may not realize the harm they are causing by alienating the child from the other parent.
It’s important to remember that parental alienation can seriously impact the child and their relationship with both parents. The court considers the child’s best interest and may order therapy or counseling to help repair the relationship between the child and the alienated parent.
Sneaky Divorce Tactic # 6 – Delay – Delay – Delay
There can be several reasons why a spouse may drag their feet and delay a divorce:
- Delaying a divorce to wear the other spouse: Delaying a divorce to wear out the other spouse is not a healthy or appropriate way to handle the situation. It can be considered a form of emotional manipulation or abuse and can prolong both parties’ emotional pain and suffering. This type of behavior is not only unethical but also can have serious legal consequences. It can lead to further frustration and prolong the healing process for all parties involved. Additionally, it can have a detrimental effect on the children and make it difficult for them to adjust to the changes in their family dynamics.
- Emotional reasons: Some people may not be emotionally ready to end their marriage and may be in denial about the situation. They may also fear the emotional toll a divorce can take and may not be ready to face the change.
- Financial reasons: A spouse may be worried about their financial situation and may be concerned about how they will support themselves after the divorce. They may also be worried about how the divorce will affect their financial situation and may want to delay the process to have more time to prepare.
- Fear of being alone: Some people may fear being alone and may not want to end their marriage even if they are unhappy. They may also be worried about the future and may not want to file for divorce.
- Hope for reconciliation: Some people may hope for reconciliation and believe their marriage can be saved if they give it more time. They may be waiting for the other spouse to change their mind or for the situation to improve.
It’s important to understand that delaying a divorce may not be beneficial for anyone involved, and it can lead to further frustration and prolong the healing process for all parties.
I have written about this topic in detail. Click here for an article you should read for more information on handling a spouse who intentionally delays a divorce.
Sneaky Divorce Tactic # 7 – Refusing to Negotiate
There can be several reasons why a spouse may refuse to negotiate during a divorce:
- Emotional reasons: Some people may be so angry or hurt that they refuse to negotiate with their spouse. They may be unwilling to compromise or to see things from the other person’s perspective.
- Power and control: Some people may refuse to negotiate to maintain control and power over the other spouse. They may want to dictate the terms of the divorce and may not be willing to consider the other person’s needs or wants.
- Financial reasons: A spouse may refuse to negotiate if they believe they will lose out financially. They may be unwilling to give up assets or property they believe are rightfully theirs.
- Lack of trust: A spouse may refuse to negotiate if they don’t trust the other person or believe that the other person will not be fair or honest in the negotiation process.
- Legal strategy: Sometimes, a spouse may refuse to negotiate due to the advice of their attorney, who may believe that the case will be more favorable in court.
Sneaky Divorce Tactic # 8 – Attempting a Quick Settlement
There can be several wrong reasons for attempting a quick divorce settlement:
- Emotional reasons: Some people may rush to settle the divorce because they want to move on quickly without considering the long-term implications of the settlement.
- Financial reasons: A spouse may want to rush the settlement to avoid financial loss, such as losing out on assets or property.
- Pressure from others: A spouse may be under pressure from family members, friends, or even attorneys to settle the divorce quickly without considering the best interest of all parties involved.
- Lack of understanding: A spouse may not completely understand their rights or the legal process and may be willing to accept a settlement that is not in their best interest.
- Revenge: A spouse may want to settle the divorce quickly to punish or hurt the other spouse.
It’s important to remember that a divorce settlement is a legal agreement that will have long-term implications for both parties. It’s essential to understand your rights fully, the legal process, and the long-term consequences of the settlement. It’s also important to ensure that the best interests of any children involved are considered.
What to Do If a Spouse is Using Sneaky and Manipulative Tactics During a Divorce
If you suspect that your spouse is trying to use sneaky tactics during a divorce, it is vital to take action to protect your rights and interests. Here are a few steps you can take:
- Gather evidence: Collect any relevant documents or evidence that may support your case, such as bank statements, tax returns, and pay stubs. This can help you prove that your spouse is hiding assets or income.
- Consult with a qualified family law attorney: Work with an attorney with experience in divorce and asset division. They can advise you on the legal options and assist you in navigating the process fairly and ethically.
- Be transparent: Be open and honest with your attorney and the court about your assets and liabilities. Hiding assets or lying about your financial situation is unethical and can backfire in court.
- Communicate with your spouse: If possible, agree on key issues such as property division and child custody. This can help avoid a protracted legal battle and be less expensive.
- Be prepared for the unexpected: Even if you and your spouse are in agreement, things can change. Be ready for the possibility that your spouse may change their mind or take actions you did not anticipate.
It’s important to remember that during this time, you should keep the well-being of any children involved as your top priority and act in their best interests. Also, keep the lines of communication open with your spouse as long as it’s safe for you to do so.