How to Start a Conversation About a Prenuptial Agreement

The process of falling in love is easy. What’s hard is figuring out how you will do life with the person you fell in love with. There are critical conversations to be had as you plan a life together. Where do you want to live? How do you feel about kids? Do you believe in God? Do you have credit card debt? How about student loans? What’s your relationship like with your mom? 

As awkward as those questions can be, how about this one, “Honey, you know I love you with all my heart, and I want to grow old with you, but if it doesn’t work out, will you sign a prenup? 

The word ‘prenup’ can trigger many negative emotions and make you question your partner’s commitment to the relationship. Is he going to bail the minute this gets hard? This article will give you ideas on how to begin the prenup conversation.

11 Prenuptial Agreement Conversation Starters

Many people are afraid of mentioning a prenuptial agreement and have no idea how to begin the conversation. This article will give you ten ways to start the prenuptial conversation. 

1. How to Start a Prenup Conversation if You’ve Been Married Before

Conversation starter: “I have previously been divorced and would feel more secure with a prenuptial agreement in our relationship. It has more to do with my personal history than our relationship. Would you feel at ease discussing the benefits and drawbacks of a prenup? I believe it would be beneficial for everyone’s peace of mind.”

2. How to Start a Prenup Conversation When One Spouse is Contemplating Leaving Work to Raise a Family

Conversation starter: “I love the idea of starting a family with you. I can’t wait to be a mom. I believe this is a great decision for us, and I’m thrilled to stay home and take care of the house and the children. This is going to require me to give up my career. I believe we should discuss a prenuptial agreement. We have an excellent system, but if something were to go wrong, I would lose a significant portion of my earning capacity if I stop working and stay home.”

3. How to Start a Prenup Conversation When One Partner has Money and the Other Doesn’t

Conversation starter: “I realize this may not be an easy discussion, but I hope it will be positive and fruitful. We are both aware of our significant wealth disparity, and I want to make sure we both feel valued and protected if we sign a prenup. What is your opinion?”

4. How to Start a Prenup Conversation When Bother Partners Have Acquired Assets Before the Marriage

Conversation starter: “Our financial strategy has been successful thus far, and I hope we can keep it up. Do you believe that a prenup is a good idea for us? We both have assets that we are bringing into the marriage. How should we handle that?”

5. How to Start a Prenup Conversation When One Partner Owns a Business

Conversation Starter: “We are both aware that business can be hit or miss, and I never want my career to impact our marriage significantly. Have you ever considered a prenup? I believe it could benefit both of us.”

6. How to Start a Prenup Conversation When One Partner has Children From a Previous Relationship

Conversation starter: “I couldn’t be happier that we’re entering a new phase of our lives and combining our families. I want to ensure my kids get their inheritance if something happens to me. Do you think entering into a prenuptial agreement would be a good idea to protect the children in the future?”

7. How to Start a Prenup Conversation When One Partner has Substantial Student Loans

Conversation Starter: “We are both aware that student debt is a significant burden, and I’d like to help alleviate it by paying it off with you. However, we should also ensure that the debt is properly allocated in case things go awry. This is improbable, but having a prenup would be a peaceful decision for both of us.”

8. How to Start a Prenup Conversation When One Partner is Terrible With Money

Conversation Starter: “I’m thrilled to spend the rest of my life with you, but our views on how to save and spend money differ. I believe a prenuptial agreement would assist us in initiating a fruitful discussion about household expenses and savings. Would you consider a prenuptial agreement that benefits both of us?”

9. How to Start a Prenup Conversation When One Party Has Had a Problem With Addiction

Conversation Starter: “I’m fully committed to achieving our shared objective of leading healthy lives and supporting one another. I completely believe in you, but we both understand how difficult addiction is. A prenup, in my opinion, may be a terrific approach to cover our bases in the event of a relapse and make sure we both have what we need to be successful both now and in the event of a divorce.”

10. How to Start a Prenup Conversation to Discuss Concerns About Infidelity

Conversation Starter: “I have complete faith in you, but sometimes relationships deteriorate with time. Would you agree to a prenuptial agreement in exchange for an infidelity clause? We’re both simply human. I want to keep us both safe. After all, it’s better to deal with this now and avoid having to later than to ignore it and have something terrible happen.”

11. How to Start a Prenup Conversation to Discuss Planning for Retirement

Conversation Starter: “I’ve been considering the specifics of our financial management. What should each of us handle regarding paying bills, investing, and setting a budget? Should we look into a prenup solely to define our obligations?”


Prenuptial agreements frequently have a bad reputation, but they are a practical choice. As a couple, you can decide whether or not to proceed with a prenup, but you should make sure to talk it through, whatever your preference.

Prenups don’t reduce your confidence in your future marriage; they eliminate the possibility of headaches that don’t need to be had. So start the conversation early on, make sure both sides feel heard, and remember that prenups don’t diminish your confidence and trust in your future marriage.

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Tim McDuffey is a practicing attorney in the State of Missouri. Tim is a licensed member of the Missouri Bar and Missouri Bar Association.

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