Create the Perfect Informal Custody Agreement: Top Items You Must Include!

Informal custody agreements can be used by parents to handle child custody and visitation issues without involving the court system. This can be a viable option that can save time and money for separated couples.

Informal custody agreements are generally less formal than court-approved agreements, but they don’t have to be.

Keep reading to learn how to create the perfect informal custody agreement.

How to Create the Perfect Informal Custody Agreement – The Essential Items to Include

Custody and Visitation Schedule

The custody and visitation schedule is one of the most important items to include in an informal custody agreement. This schedule outlines when the child will be in the care of each parent or guardian, including weekends, holidays, and special occasions.

The schedule should be as detailed as possible to avoid confusion and disputes. For example, it should specify the exact times each parent is responsible for picking up and dropping off the child and any restrictions on travel or overnight visits.

Here is an example of standard joint legal custody and weekend visitation schedule:

“Both parents shall have joint legal custody of the child. [Parent A] shall have primary physical custody of the child, subject to reasonable visitation by [Parent B]. [Parent B] shall have visitation with the child every other weekend from Friday at 6:00 pm to Sunday at 6:00 pm. [Parent B] shall also have the child for two weeks during the summer, to be chosen by [Parent B] and provided that reasonable notice is given to [Parent A]. During such summer visitation, [Parent B] shall have the right to have the child reside with him/her and make decisions regarding the child’s welfare, except that major decisions such as medical treatment and schooling shall be made jointly by both parents.”

Parenting Responsibilities

Parenting Responsibilities Parenting responsibilities are another critical item to include in an informal custody agreement.

This includes who will make decisions about the child’s education, healthcare, and other important matters and who will be responsible for day-to-day care such as meals, transportation, and discipline.

Here is an example of common language regarding parenting responsibilities:

“The parents shall share joint legal custody of the child, which means that both parents shall have the right to make decisions regarding the child’s education, health, and welfare. The parents shall confer with each other and make joint decisions on all major issues concerning the child’s welfare, including but not limited to medical treatment, religious upbringing, and education.

[Parent A] shall have primary physical custody of the child, subject to reasonable visitation by [Parent B]. During visitation periods, [Parent B] shall have the right and responsibility to provide day-to-day care for the child, including feeding, clothing, and disciplining the child. [Parent B] shall make all reasonable efforts to ensure that the child’s physical and emotional needs are met while in his/her care.

[Parent A] shall have the right and responsibility to make day-to-day decisions concerning the child’s welfare while the child is in his/her care, including but not limited to discipline, homework, and social activities.

[Parent A] shall keep [Parent B] informed of any major issues affecting the child’s welfare and shall consult with [Parent B] regarding major decisions concerning the child’s welfare.

The parents shall work together to ensure that the child’s needs are met and that the child’s relationship with each parent is fostered and nurtured.”

Holidays and Special Occasions

Holidays and special occasions are a particularly sensitive issue regarding custody arrangements. It is essential to determine how these events will be divided between the parents, including birthdays, religious holidays, and school breaks.

This can be done by alternating holidays yearly or dividing the day between the parents.

Here is an example of how holidays can be covered in an informal custody agreement:

“The parents shall alternate custody of the child for the following holidays, with the exchange to occur at [insert specific time]:

New Year’s Day: [Parent A] shall have custody on even-numbered years, and [Parent B] shall have custody on odd-numbered years.
Easter Sunday: [Parent B] shall have custody on even-numbered years, and [Parent A] shall have custody on odd-numbered years.
Memorial Day: [Parent A] shall have custody in even-numbered years, and [Parent B] shall have custody in odd-numbered years.
Fourth of July: [Parent B] shall have custody on even-numbered years, and [Parent A] shall have custody on odd-numbered years.
Labor Day: [Parent B] shall have custody in even-numbered years, and [Parent A] shall have custody in odd-numbered years.
Thanksgiving Day: [Parent A] shall have custody on even-numbered years, and [Parent B] shall have custody on odd-numbered years.
Christmas Eve: [Parent B] shall have custody on even-numbered years, and [Parent A] shall have custody on odd-numbered years.
Christmas Day: [Parent A] shall have custody on even-numbered years, and [Parent B] shall have custody on odd-numbered years.

For all other holidays not listed above, the parents shall alternate custody on a yearly basis, with [Parent A] having custody on even-numbered years and [Parent B] having custody on odd-numbered years.

By outlining a clear holiday schedule in the informal custody agreement, both parents can avoid disputes and ensure that the child spends time with each parent during important occasions.

Please note the above schedule is just an example and that the actual agreement may vary depending on the specific needs and circumstances of the family.

Education and Extracurricular Activities

The child’s education and extracurricular activities are significant factors to consider in an informal custody agreement.

Determine who will decide about the child’s education, including school choice and extracurricular activities. Also, specify how the costs of these activities will be divided and how they will be scheduled.

Health Care

The child’s medical and dental expenses and how decisions about health care will be made is also important item to include in the agreement.

This can include specifying who will be responsible for scheduling appointments and who will accompany the child to appointments.

Communication Between Parents

It is crucial to establish guidelines for communication between parents in the custody agreement, including how often they will check in with each other, how they will handle disputes, and how they will communicate about the child’s needs. This will help avoid misunderstandings and conflicts.

Child Support

If one parent pays child support, the agreement should specify the amount and how it will be paid. This should be spelled out in the agreement.

Pick-up and Drop-off Times

Be specific about the exact times each parent is responsible for picking up and dropping off the child. This can include weekdays, weekends, and holidays. This will help avoid confusion and ensure that each parent knows their responsibilities.

Transportation Expenses and Mode of Transportation

Determine who is responsible for transportation expenses, such as gas, tolls, and parking fees. Consider splitting these costs evenly between the parents or assigning responsibility based on who is driving. Specify the mode of transportation that will be used for pick-up and drop-off, such as by car, bus, or other means.

Travel

Determine how out-of-town travel with the child will be handled, including who will be responsible for making travel arrangements and who will pay for the child’s travel expenses.

Childcare

If the child requires childcare outside of regular school hours, determine who will be responsible for arranging and paying for childcare. This can be particularly important if both parents work full-time.

Moving

The agreement should include details on how a move by either parent will be handled, including how the custody arrangement may need to be modified and how much notice must be given.

It may also include provisions related to the child’s schooling, extracurricular activities, and other important aspects of their life that a move could impact.

By addressing this issue in the agreement, parents can help minimize any potential disruption to the child’s life, and both parties are aware of their responsibilities in the event of a move.